AMCs "Small Town Security" Show: Where Story (doesn't) Matter Here
Why could AMC be thinking with their newest reality TV show, Small Town Security? Have they forgotten their channel's tagline, "Story matters here?"
Alice might ask the Cheshire Cat why AMC bought a reality TV show
Last night I watched AMCs newest show, “Small Town Security” a reality TV show set in Ringgold, Georgia. (A small town that’s near Chattanooga, Tenn.)
After the show ended, and I could compose myself enough to put words on paper that would not fall under the category of rant with a lot of profanity thrown in; I sat down to write my opinion/review of the July 15th premiere show.
Why? What could AMC, the same network that brought us “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad”, come up with this abysmal reality TV show? Are they jumping on the reality TV band wagon? Oh, say it isn’t so!
The show is about a family business that provides security guards for special events and bodyguard services for people who might be in need of guarding. Chief Joan Koplan, the head of JJK Security and investigations swears like a sailor, has a penchant for ‘dirty’ magazines, (which are delivered to her office) and occasionally smokes a cigar.
It seems Joan once had some connection to Hollywood, did some TV appearances, and had a cable talk show in Ringgold. Joan always wanted to be famous and sent a demo reel on JJK Security and Investigations. A production company bought it and then sold it to AMC. It took two years to get on air and was according to Joan, it was “a nightmare.”
Well, Joanie, tis a nightmare to be shared. Your nightmare was that it wouldn’t get aired and my nightmare was it did! Why did AMC buy it? What could the same network that brought us—slap to face—I’m out of control here!
Taking a deep breath, I go back to the show: Joan thinks that “the interplay with her husband and employees will tickle viewers”, (Quote from Radio & TV Talk with Rodney Ho) and it’s her gut feeling that the show will be a hit. “We get along beautifully together…of course, there’s fighting. But we all kiss and make up. It’s just weird the things that go on.” (Radio & Talk with Rodney Ho)
Lt. Dennis Croft, the operations manager for JJK, said that people told them that the JJK group would make a great reality TV show; Croft had doubts until he saw the demo reel and how they worked as a unit.
Dennis Croft is an employee of "Chief" Joan, and a good friend. He sleeps in the office and is literally at her ‘beck and call’. In the first episode Joan asks him to appear on her public access show, “Joan Koplan’s Forum” as her first guest.
On her show Joan introduces him to the viewers, in a deadpan voice drops the bomb that Dennis Croft, the operations manager who worked with JKK for 12 years, was once a woman called Lt. Denise Croft. Croft was not happy as a woman and wanted to realize her potential as a man.
You might want to know Why didn’t Croft feel the need to enlighten the fine citizens of Ringgold Georgia before appearing on “Joan Koplan’s Forum” cable TV show?
Well folks', he claimed he didn’t tell people about his transition from girl to boy because he wanted to stay ‘below the radar’. I guess he ‘rose above it’ (sarcasm intended) when he thought about all the advantages $$$ of being on a reality TV show.
It’s no coincidence that the first episode of Small Town Security ended with the revelation, gasp, gasp, that Dennis Croft (the man with facial hair) was once a woman.
The other characters in the show are Irwin Koplan, Joan’s husband, Brian Taylor JJK’s office manager, and Christa Stephens the office secretary.
Oh and let me not forget “Lambchop”, Joan’s 14-year old Chihuahua that likes to hump human ankles.
Perhaps "Small Town Security" will find an audience with AMC "Story Matters Here": However, story doesn't seem to matter this time. At least not in the way it “matters’ with their award winning shows, “Breaking Bad” and “Mad Men.”
Why wasn’t Small Town Security sold to Bravo? It’s made to order for them. Heck, maybe Bravo could develop into another franchise out of it and call it “Real Small Town Security”.
It would have been a match made it Reality TV heaven.