What you can learn from this movie:
1. Unusual sexual positions.
2. How to suck the blood right out of your girlfriends neck.
3. How to kill a witch.
4. Patience when waiting in a box for 200 years.
5. How to go out on your true love, and end up a vampire.
The original “Dark Shadows” was a gothic soap opera that was on television from June 27, 1966, to April 2, 1971. The show was canceled due to bad ratings.
The new 2012 “Dark Shadows” movie that is now playing in theaters, is set in 1760 in Liverpool, England. The Collins family departs on a ship, and travels to Maine. The main star of the show is Johnny Depp who plays Barnabas Collins. The other stars are Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, and Johnny Lee Miller. Also, Alice Cooper played himself in the movie. “Dark Shadows” is directed by Tim Burton and Quentin Tarantino. One of the major writers is Art Wallace.
Type of movie: Comedy Horror. But it has romance in it too.
It has a pg-13 rating
In Maine, the Collins family does very well financially, and establishes a small town called Collinsport. Barnabas Collins is very wealthy and powerful. Although he fell deeply in love with a beautiful woman named Josette, he had an affair with their maid, Angelique, who turned out to be a Witch. Angelique, was in love with him, but he did not return her affection. There is nothing worse than a woman's scorn, and this was no exception. The Witch kills his true love, turns him into a vampire, and locks him in a coffin. It was 200 years before he was found. Since now Barnabas is in the year 1972, he is puzzled about his surroundings.
Barnabas hypnotized the gardener to help him clean up and do his bidding. When he arrives at the Collinswood mansion, he does not get a warm welcome, but convinces them that he will not harm them, and he will improve their financial situation, since they are near financial ruin. The Witch that locked him up, is now top dog in the fishing industry which is how the Collins family made all their money in the first place. Also, Barnabas and the Witch were not the only ones with a secret, which will be revealed during the grand finale.
I loved the movie! It was fascinating and exciting. It had something for everyone, including humor, romance, and gore. There were also heartbreaking moments in the story. As always, Johnny Depp will not dissatisfy you. His mid-evil good looks will have you wanting him to bite your neck, but his yellow teeth may keep you from kissing him.
How it could have been improved.
I think that the writer of the story, could have developed the characters more, and made them more interesting on a personal level, so the audience would be more concerned about what would occur in the Collins family‘s fight with the Witch. Of course, I still rooted for them regardless.
I think that people would have liked and sympathized more with Barnabas, if he had shown more remorse about what he was doing, and not killed so many people at one feeding. And he would have been sexier in the film if he had been a little less pale. And I thought I was pale!
When the young Collins girl said the phrase “The happening” (to mean a party), I didn’t think it was accurate, and it sounded inappropriate.