Homestuck Fans: Not Quite as Hip and Intellectually Gifted as They Think

Timothy Sexton By Timothy Sexton, 9th Jan 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/sdquh_yy/
Posted in Wikinut>Reviews>Web Sites

Homestuck is a webcomic that prides itself on being hip and intellectually elevated. The response from fans to an article I wrote indicates that such hipness and intellectually snobbery may be somewhat less than deserved.

What is Homestuck?

If you remain unaware of Homestuck as an internet phenomenon and MS Paint Adventure and Kickstarter success story then you either don’t have kids or aren’t aware of this here thing called the internets. (As George W. Bush liked to refer—and probably still refers—to it.) Homestuck, created by Andrew Hussie, may one day move out of its comfort zone as an MS Paint Adventure and become a movie of one sort or another. (Either funded by Kickstarter or not). There is an old saying in the world of entertainment: “A comic is a person who says funny things; A comedian says things funny."
That makes Homestuck a webcomic.

Homestuck Fans Response

This article in its original form was deemed too confusing by Homestuck fans. Andrew Hussie went on Twitter to call it the most baffling article about Homestuck he'd ever read. Which is hilarious since Homestuck fans pride themselves on their beloved webcomic being more akin to something by James Joyce than Charles Schulz AND that Andrew Hussie's creation has been called much worse than baffling by its critics (see links below). Based on comments by Homestuck fans that the article—since removed—received, I can only say that any comparison to James Joyce must be based on those who have found the comic to be too abstruse for comprehensive understanding since it appears that the typical fan would have a difficult time following the linear progression of a William S. Gray book, much less a Charles Schulz comic and that any one single sentence by James Joyce would be well outside any possibility of understanding by those Homestuck fans who took the time to leave monosyllabic commentary.

Homestuck Fans' Problems with Apprehension

Experimental non-fiction is apparently too far above the ability of the average Homestuck fan to latch onto. Allow me to further alienate the fan base of Homestuck by forcing them to attempt comprehension of a movie a thousand times more complex than their own beloved MS Paint Adventure webcomic by quoting Bogey from “Casablanca." Just like Rick Blaine relative to making a decision to emigrate to Casablanca for the waters, when it comes to the heightened level of intellectual ability of Homestuck fans, “I was misinformed.” Judge for yourself, however. Here is the rest of the article that seems to have been far too confusing for the minds of many Homestuck fans to apprehend.

The Original Article That Confused Homestuck Fans

Comedy is hard. Death is easy. That makes Homestuck a juggler.

Those balls or knives or eggs or bowling pins or chainsaws that Homestuck juggles are known in the literary world as themes. Or, perhaps tropes. Hard to say in this postmodern world where themes and tropes sinuously intertwine in a way that confuses people nearly as much as irony and coincidence.

Theme or trope? You decide. A cursory examination of what the Homestuck webcomic offers and what a Homestuck movie would deliver includes concepts touching upon literature of the classic Gods that you may know better as mythology, video games (which means everyone under the age of 60 at the very least can relate) and the convergence of television and internet entertainment. In a way, there is something about Homestuck that almost seems organically disinclined to take on the medium of cinema. But don’t let that stop you, Jack!

Internet culture. Is that one of those things like compassionate conservatism and military intelligence? Not to judge from the manner in which Homestuck attacks a world where “trolling” is most definitely not about gruff billy goats or a world in which “to Tumblr for ya” has nothing to do with boys named George. Webcomics are not necessarily all about comedy as the name might suggest, but enough comedy exists on the almost daily updated Homestuck to create as much laughter among high school students as used to be stimulated by the 1970s cast of “Saturday Night Live” and primetime sitcoms combined.

The world those of us over 40 used to know as reality is gone; Homestuck is the new face of John Belushi and Robin Williams. Prettier, too, if you can get past the overabundance of horns. Get ready for it if you still get your laughs above the waistline, sunshine, because very soon your world will be rocked.
Unless it isn’t. Because, after all, Homestuck has been compared to James Joyce more often than Charles Schulz. So who knows? It could become a movie. Unless it can’t.

Advice

Memo to David Lynch, Jean-Luc Godard, Guy Maddin and any other filmmaker who does not worship at the feet of James Cameron or Michael Bay: Do NOT be talked into making a film version of Homestuck. Your language of cinema is way, way, way to far over the heads of many Homestuck fans.

Tags

Homestuck, Kickstarter, Mspaint, Webcomics

Meet the author

author avatar Timothy Sexton
Timothy Sexton was chosen as Associated Content's--now Yahoo! Voices first Content Producer of the Year. He writes several columns for Yahoo! and has a chapter in Sherlock Holmes and Philosophy.

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Comments

author avatar George Aspesi
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Ordinarily I would have given this article a pass, but I felt compelled to speak.

Sir, you are entitled to write, say, and think whatever you wish, and I'm not here to decry you as incorrect. However, just as you are free to express yourself, I am free to offer a rebuttal. I believe you, sir, are incorrect. When one publishes a review (such as yours) its primary function should be to inform the reader as to your opinion. So, when an article as syntactically obtuse as yours is written, understandably many would be confused. While many were indeed able to pierce the meaning behind the words, they were perplexed by your choice. Why would you write in such an obfuscating manner, when there are so many easier ways to make your point? This would, to me, seem the obvious source of the confusion.

Furthermore, many fellow Homestuck readers I know do not claim intellectual superiority over anyone. While I cannot speak for the fandom as a whole, I believe that this statement originates with the PBS Idea Channel, which at one point asks if Homestuck is in any way comparable to Ulysses. While I care not to summarize the video, I believe the main point was that Ulysses and Homestuck both took effort to read. No one stated, at any point, that Homestuck was syntactically similar to Joyce's writing. So for you to assume confusion at your deliberately obtuse article was akin to a lack of understanding by the whole of a fandom, something that is an unfair generalization, while simultaneously comparing your own writing to Joyce does not make you an analyst or a critic. It makes you elitist, and a bully.

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author avatar Seth
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Kankri would be proud of you.

Jokes aside, this is well put. I would have to agree that there are many who consider reading and 'finishing' Homestuck to be a feat (though I do not for reasons I may post later) it is true that the comparison to Ulysses is not a direct Homestuck=New Ulysses. It is more of, like you said, that they both take time and effort to complete, and that like Ulysses, there are some portions of the webcomic that are somewhat confusing, as in Joyce's book such as the heavy involvement with time travel and its effects, as well as newly created concepts such as circumstantial simultaneity.
But in the end, there really isn't much a point or reason for this degradation in your article. So some people think they are cool for finishing it? Ok, so what? You haven't provided a point to why this is bad. I can say even as an avid fan I have only seen maybe one fan who is like that, so I question why you seem to be so peeved about this supposed outbreak of these people.

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author avatar Seth
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Furthermore, after rereading the article, you are mocking HS fans for "Not getting" the article. Frankly, this is not the fans fault. Because you are in the position of being the writer of this article, you are obligated to write in order for the audience to either enjoy or take information from the article (or both). The fact that many thought the article was confusing is not, therefore the readers faults for being confused; you as the writer should have thought about how it may be hard for some people to follow your train of thought and understand the way you are wording your opinions. I could have written this post in a looping, meandering order, as well as obfuscating some of my point under a blanket of unnecessary wording, but that then doesn't make it your fault for 'not being able to apprehend' it.

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author avatar Butthurt old man
10th Jan 2013 (#)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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author avatar Yop
10th Jan 2013 (#)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAJAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHUEHUEHUHEUHEHUEHHEHUEHHHEHKKEKEKEKKKKKKLLLOLLOLOOLLHAHAHAHAHAAA

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author avatar Yop
10th Jan 2013 (#)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAJAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHUEHUEHUHEUHEHUEHHEHUEHHHEHKKEKEKEKKKKKKLLLOLLOLOOLLHAHAHAHAHAAA

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author avatar Kevin
10th Jan 2013 (#)

"Communicating badly and then acting smug when you're misunderstood is not cleverness" -XKCD 169.

Your article had no point to it. It proved nothing and made no arguments. It wasn't even informative, because you didn't know enough about your subject material to make it so. The result was directionless garbage which I'm impressed that you are brave enough to repost here because it maintains the association between this miscarriage of an "article" and your name.

So yes, you wrote something that said nothing and then, instead of apologizing and writing a better article, insulted your readers. Way to go!

For the record the title of this article is probably right though, even if you arrived at that conclusion accidentally at best. The full text of this article could have read "Homestuck fans in large part are 17-year-olds who have read something that is very long, and they're proud of this feat."

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author avatar ???_???
10th Jan 2013 (#)

"??????????????????????????

Get ready because if you don't know about it because you still get your laughs above the waistline, sunshine, you soon will.????????????????

??????????????????ACTUAL SENTENCE FROM UR ARTICLE tho?????????????????????????????????

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author avatar Ghoast
15th Apr 2013 (#)

I know, right? I understood it at first read, but only because I was making a point to give a real try at deciphering the article.
What he mean by that line is like "Those who don't like crude humor will find out about Homestuck" or something.
"get ready, because= (if you don't know about it because= (you get your laughs above the waistline) you soon will .)) "

The grammar is shit and the whole article is a steaming pile of overexertion to include weird references, and honestly the whole thing could have stopped after saying "Don't try to make homestuck a movie" because that's the only thing I can definitely tell that he's trying to say here.

Also that xkcd quote is very appropriate

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author avatar Smash Lampjaw
10th Jan 2013 (#)

You're still an insane gypsy.

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author avatar Deer_ebooks
10th Jan 2013 (#)

oh my god how are you real

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author avatar Pingas
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Obviously someone got mad that his article was removed from Yahoo due to being complete shit.

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author avatar Johnny B. Goode
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Congratulations on not only deliberately alienating your readers but also blaming the readers for not "getting it" when you purposefully wrote it in a convoluted manner in the first place.

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author avatar Steve
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Bahaha.
Your article was so TERRIBLE it got removed by Yahoo.
Not to mention full of grammatical errors, and full of nonsensical idiocy.

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author avatar Domo Q
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Is this guy serious? Did he think his writing was sooo great that because we called him out on his ignorance and bullshit knowledge on Homestuck that he had to actually attack the fandom?
I can't even take this guy seriously. When is he going to get fired, because this is bullshit. He isn't even a good author! Jesus christ how ignorant can you get?!


btw.. NO HOMESTUCK WANTS IT TO TURN INTO A MOVIE JACKASS.

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author avatar WWNL
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Ahahahahahahahaha, oh my god. Bro, you mad. Next time you publish an article on Yahoo, make sure it's even vaguely coherent first.

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author avatar Hedoro
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Comedy gold right here.

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author avatar Ahomestuckfan
10th Jan 2013 (#)

ok so obviously you don't understand the complexity and beautiful genius that is in fact homestuck. your artical is pointless and you just make yourself look stupid because obviously homestuck is made to look simple and easy to understand when in reality it has a very complex and deep meaningful plot. oh and before you go around insulting the intelligence of the fandom as a whole realize that maybe you may be the one in need of serious attitude change, and also realize that we do not think of ourselves higher than others just because we take pride in our fandom! You sir need to CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!

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author avatar Abbreviation
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Man, he didn't even tag it. Tag your triggers!

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author avatar Kevin
10th Jan 2013 (#)

If you're going to be defending the intelligence of a fandom, at least spell 'article" correctly. And don't bring your weird Tumblr SJWing here /=

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author avatar Nepetafan_spellchecker
20th Feb 2013 (#)

The Kankri joke made me laugh, but please do run your comment through Microsoft Word before you post.

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author avatar A Stranger
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Are you still high Timothy omg calm your tits

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author avatar Bryan
10th Jan 2013 (#)

The true sign of intelligence is the ability to be concise and easily understood.

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author avatar Hio
10th Jan 2013 (#)

As a copy editor and an English major. I know my literature and my journalism and what you produced earlier fell into neither of those categories.

However, as a Homestuck, I have to say that the entertainment value of your butthurt response is so great that it more than makes up for your flagrant abuse of the English language.

God bless the Internet.

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author avatar Steve
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I find it cute that you also left out or correct some stuff from your original article to make you look better.
http://i.imgur.com/AU61N.png
Here's the original article if you're interesting people.

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author avatar Bleh
10th Jan 2013 (#)

bless

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author avatar Horse_ebooks
10th Jan 2013 (#)

You want to know why your article was removed, dude? Because you literally didn't say a single thing about the comic. All a reader could get out of your article was the fact that a webcomic named Homestuck exists. You used 333 words to announce to your readership that a thing you know about is, in fact, a thing that exists. You have no right to get angry at your critics for admonishing your awful writing style. Grow up.

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author avatar Oh No My Bad
10th Jan 2013 (#)

was this translated through google's chinese translator a few times
just wondering

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author avatar Alls
10th Jan 2013 (#)

oh my god I can't stop laughing.

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author avatar Emmy C.
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I think my favorite part is "The Original Article That Confused Homestuck Fans - Comedy is hard. Death is easy. That makes Homestuck a juggler."

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author avatar Seth
11th Jan 2013 (#)

I wasn't sure if that line was mocking or commending at first xP haha

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author avatar Theodor Geisel
10th Jan 2013 (#)

'You are old, Father Timothy', the young man said,
'And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

'In my youth', Father Timothy replied to his son,
'I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.'

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author avatar Lin
10th Jan 2013 (#)

i didn't think the original article could get any better. then i read this justification.

10/10 would read again

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author avatar Hana
10th Jan 2013 (#)

The simple fact is, your article relies on idioms and references but you never actually established an argument. Rather, your idea could easily be established in a "what-if" sentence, i.e. "what if Homestuck was a movie?"
I encourage you to focus less on unrelated (referencing anyone not involved in movies or comics) or overly broad topics (such as the difference between themes and tropes). Also, I suggest that for more professional articles that you don't use so many sentence fragments.
A Homestuck movie could be an interesting topic to discuss but if you're having trouble getting started think how other comics became movies and their success, such as Scott Pilgrim or the superhero genre.
Better luck on your next article!

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author avatar Josh
10th Jan 2013 (#)

You are entitled to your opinion...and yours could have been summed up thusly: "I do not like Homestuck, and those who do think themselves better than others". Granted, this is after carefully reading your directionless article. You, however fail to realize that your poor writing is what confused readers. And you also fail to realize that a majority of Homestuck fans are of high school age and not all of them have the know-how to decipher your needlessly confusing article (though there are plenty of college age as well as adult fans, like myself). And I readily admit that Homestuck is NOT for everybody. But that is also akin to stating that I like horror movies, but I realize that horror movies are not for everybody. So to demean Homestuck and it's fans because you believe it and them to be not worthy of any praise or acknowledgment is quite ignorant of you. You have every right to believe it to be unworthy of your time or attention. So say so and do not talk down to those who enjoy it.

As for a movie, I doubt any director who would ever want to make one would even consider your article as serious (because if that poor writing I mentioned earlier). Good day to you.

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author avatar Erzuly Peixes
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Seriously?

Seriously?

I'm turning 49 in May. I have a master's degree in medieval history. Among my favorite authors I list CJ Cherryh, Salman Rushdie, Banana Yoshimoto, and Jane Austen. I too love Casablanca and my favorite TV shows were Profit and Twin Peaks.

I LOVE Homestuck. It is incredibly complex and very witty--it may be written in the teen vernacular, but the sheer creativity of Karkat's insults alone is purely brilliant. It has multiple interdependent plot lines and fully realised characters. Half the characters are female; none of them are written as "love interests" who are accessories or plot devices for the male characters.

Lynch and Cronenberg should count themselves lucky if they ever get a chance at it, but given the subject matter and the style of the work I think that a real Homestuck movie could only be done in animation. Of course you probably think animation is only for children as well, but whatever--you clearly are not as brilliant as you think you are.

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author avatar Deer_ebooks
10th Jan 2013 (#)

It's weird I just looked at some of his other articles and they're not nearly this badly written. Are you doing this on purpose Timothy? What's your angle?

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author avatar Abbreviation
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I was definitely amused by the original article. I thought it was good fun and thematically in keeping with some of the more bizarre humor in Homestuck. But hey! I needed to see a reaction piece chortling about how dumb and snotty readers of Homestuck are who did not grasp the supposed literary genius of the original article. I needed this article to understand the spirit the original review was made in.

I especially enjoyed the condescension lurking throughout your commentary in this piece. Nice touch, especially since many readers of Homestuck are teenagers. Show those whippersnappers what for! Thinking they know shit about James Joyce! You sure showed them.

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author avatar Abbreviation
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I'm going to assume this is some sort of master move, full of irony, to poke fun at the Homestuck fandom. Otherwise, I am confused by why a grown man who presumably makes his living off of his writing would produce this.

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author avatar Shelby
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Excuse you.

Before, I begin, I know that people are entitled to their own opinion and I respect that. The thing I don't respect though, is others being condescending to others because of age and/or knowledge.

As you said "snotty" homestuck readers, let me remind you that the fandom has created its own charity for others. I somehow fail to see the snottiness in that. And, I am a part of said fandom, and I volunteer at my local nursing home and Humane Society as often as my schedule allows. Also, I am a Girl Scout, and while I understand this does not automatically make me a "non-snotty" person, I believe that it makes me at least a better human being.

Also, I saw you mentioned something about homestuck readers being dumb. I fail to see this, seeing as most of the fandom has some degree or is aiming for one. I for one plan on receiving a degree in English and/or law.

Also, sorry if this sounds rude, but are you praising him because he is condescending teenagers? I myself am a teenager, and I find that very hurtful. There are many teenagers who can appreciate James Joyce, seeing as one of my best friends does. (I myself never was a big fan.)

Again, I apologize if this is hurtful, or rude, in any way. I just wish people wouldn't judge others based on a few (and possibly incorrect) facts.

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author avatar Set
12th Jan 2013 (#)

Shelby, are you responding to Abbreviation's comment that is shown slightly above yours? if so i'm surprised that you didn't catch the sarcasm of his tone.

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author avatar Simbaa
10th Jan 2013 (#)

"Bad writing is more than a matter of shit syntax and faulty observation," and "revenge is an act of passion." This makes Timothy Sexton a pirate.
Am I an internet writer now, guys?

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author avatar Abbreviation
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Do you get paid by Yahoo? That's the true mark you need to hit.

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author avatar Guest
10th Jan 2013 (#)

So you write an article that has no clue in what direction it's supposed to go. It's filled with grammatical errors. You make a George Bush is stupid joke long after he stopped being relevant (Good job on that by the way, are you going to give us your best Taft was fat joke as long as we're being regaled with jokes about people who no longer matter?) and you have the gall to call us stupid?

You made an article about a subject when you knew, and probably still know, nothing about it. You made yourself look like a fool in front of everyone and your display of stupidity was so terrible your article was taken down. And while you stand there with metaphorical pie on your face, you stupid clown, you have no right to pretend you're anything BUT a fool.

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author avatar Sophia
12th Jan 2013 (#)

Sucks that clowns are basically immortal.

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author avatar Daz
10th Jan 2013 (#)

After reading a lot of articles on the internet I feel like I've taken something away, like an opinion. I didn't feel that here really, unless you expect me to assume some sort of grand irony in half the things you type. In which case, I guess you're trying to say the fandom isn't smart? Well, okay. That doesn't say much. In fact you could have said it in a single sentence pretty easily. If you attempted to dissect the situation, it might have had a bit more of a viewpoint, rather than just a bunch of metaphor and simile that add up to a single semi-unexplained viewpoint.

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author avatar Rose
10th Jan 2013 (#)

So... what I've derived from this article is that you've conjured up an issue that doesn't exist (the faintest whisper of a Homestuck movie that was being discussed by no one), written a convoluted and typo-ridden article about it that was promptly removed from the site it was posted on, and then proceeded to insult an enormous group of people for not understanding what you were trying to get at. Do you think that perhaps you should reevaluate these decisions?

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author avatar Nick
10th Jan 2013 (#)

So, you're saying, its not that you're a bad writer, its that we're to stupid to understand you? -_o

That's kind of douchey, man.

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author avatar John
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Oh my god, seriously? You post a completely random article that makes no sense whatsoever, then mock us because we pointed out that it made no sense whatsoever?

Has it occurred to you that perhaps we didn't care enough to try to read into it that much, we preferred simply to laugh at how absurd it was?

Or perhaps that's a little too difficult for you to understand.

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author avatar Robert j! lake
10th Jan 2013 (#)

firstly: i assure you we have no problems with apprehension; if anything, our apprehension is firing on a few too many cylinders.

being apprehensive regarding the comprehension of your article approaching anything even close to being comprehensive is the sane move;

you not only delivered your points with a veil of obtuse verbiage but did so using the same hamfisted "but maybe not" defense that so many writers supposedly below your station would know better than to even approach.

it approaches dadaism without being cavalier enough to mean nothing.

homestuck is funny, yes. but saying "homestuck is funny" ignores why it's popular. i'm not the biggest fan of it in the world, but those who are love it because they love the characters, the majority of whom (at this point) have, at a surface level, the same appeal to obsession that any given anime fanfiction does.

but here, and now, in this tiny box: this is not the place to analyze homestuck. that place was in the article you failed to write with anything approaching sense and then failed to respond to responsibly when called out on it by (admittedly overeager) fans, many of whom, yes, are not nearly as "hip and intellectually gifted as they think they are."

most of them aren't, in fact.

you don't have to be hip and you certainly don't have to be intellectually gifted at any level to realize the absurdity behind your words.

children could do that much.

of course, this is all sound/fury etc at this point. you're baiting this, perhaps because you welcome it.

you recognize that a fanbase is often worse than the sum of its parts and yet you ignore that, rather calling on the individuals involved as if their powers combined have nothing to do with the monster created.

furthermore: homestuck is compared to james joyce not for its verbal or medium complexity so much as for its medium blending and length. it's not as apt a comparison as those who make it probably believe. but the requirement to realize this beforehand falls upon you, and not everyone telling you how wrong you are.

the problem is the inherent assumption that shulz represents "comics" and joyce represents "literature," which is ridiculous and asinine given their overlap. homestuck is a webcomic, true, and the medium of webcomics is done a disservice if assumed to be a collection of jokes. so is peanuts, in fact. there is more sophistication to be found in the suffering of charlie brown than there is in any given paperback thriller on the shelves, and the assumption that this can't be the case is a fool's game on par with dismissing jules verne for being science fiction.

an unrelated point to the rest, but still important: i take exception to the directors listed and the implications therein: david lynch has more in common with michael bay than godard. his films are loud, brash, and often distancing in a similar way to michael bay's films, albiet done out of a search for the alien as opposed to a Fight Against Aliens. the language is the same, but the use is different; this is why lynch is more successful. if you say otherwise; that, no, lynch's films are quiet and artistic and bay's films are not: you're missing the point. bay's films are awful not because of their misunderstanding of cinematic technique so much as for their misappropriation.

furthermore: the idea that popular film (i.e. explosions and mayhem) and "art" film (i.e. character drama and composed cinematography) are incompatible is completely ludicrous.

i've written too many words as it is. it's time to stop.


-robert j! lake, a man who has written over an hour of music for homestuck (available for purvey, obviously, at homestuck.bandcamp.com) and is therefore in a position to know something about it besides what he read on wikipedia one day for an article about what the cool kids are doing he wanted to write on yahoo.

slam, bang. comics aren't just for kids anymore.

they're for washed-up writers to talk about as well.

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author avatar E
10th Jan 2013 (#)

This reads kinda like what an angry 12 y/o would write after their english teacher gives them an F on a book report.

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author avatar Hussie
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Fans away

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author avatar Random Fairchild
10th Jan 2013 (#)

It's kind of disingenuous to call something so opinionated "non-fiction", even if you do prefix that with "experimental".

The fact that you think the phrase "internet culture"is an oxymoron alone is a testament to your soaring genius.

This article was very good. Unless it wasn't.

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author avatar Calmasis
10th Jan 2013 (#)

The irony of this "article" lies in the fact that the author clearly has not taken the time to read past the first act of Homestuck at most, and falsely concludes that the vast majority of the content consists of kids and trolls dicking about in their bedrooms with their sylladexes (or something of similar literary caliber). Had this author actually taken the time to research his subject matter thoroughly, he would have arrived at a very different conclusion than the one he has drawn -- not necessarily a positive one, but one certainly less obtuse and more considerate of the dedication required to comprehend, on even a basic level, the convoluted plotline and humor of Homestuck.

While Homestuck is not on par with classic literature in terms of prestige, it undoubtedly surpasses said literature in its diverse use of media and its ability to attract a fanbase that is captivated enough to plow through 5712 pages (and counting) of content. I agree with this article on only one point: filmmakers should "NOT be talked into making a film version of Homestuck." No movie would do justice to the creative explosion that is Homestuck.

One last snarky comment on the last snarky line of this so-called article: "Your language of cinema is way, way, way to far over the heads of many Homestuck fans." I believe the correct form of that adverb is "too."

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author avatar Lol
10th Jan 2013 (#)

lolling 4 ever

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author avatar Samantha R.
10th Jan 2013 (#)

The most intelligent individual is the one who can make a profound statement that even the simplest child can understand. The individual who makes a statement that only an intellectual can understand is someone who can simply find a thesaurus.

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author avatar A girl
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Okay, nice try, but I read the original article and the one you posted here is not the same one.
This one is heavily edited as it /should/ have been when you posted it the first time. I think you are just digging yourself into a deeper hole.

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author avatar Lizzy
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Your opinion is your own, and I respect that. However, I find it humorous that you would call out those who read your "article" and found it difficult to understand.

You have purposely written this in the most roundabout way possible, using pointless similes and entire sentences of rather large vocabulary words that have nothing to do with the point of your article.

If you turned this in to a college English teacher, they would hand it back to you and say, "Stay on topic, and cut down on the bullshit." When you write in such a pretentious way, it only seems like you are compensating for a lack of writing ability. If you want people to read what you write, and see why you hold your opinions, you should write without pretending you are the queen of England.

Simply put, write for your audience and write what you mean. If people do not enjoy your article (I certainly didn't, and not because we have differing opinions but because of how it was written to be deliberately "holier-than-though"), insulting their intelligence is really a sixth-grade response.

The reason no one took your article seriously is because you did not write it or behave in a serious (and respectful) manner.

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author avatar Lizzy
10th Jan 2013 (#)

*holier-than-thou lol

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author avatar Reverencium
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I don't think you get why nobody liked your article. We don't disagree with you... There was just nothing to disagree with. It was just a badly written article. That's all, try again next time. And maybe get someone to edit it for you?

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author avatar Josh
10th Jan 2013 (#)

The real irony here is that Sexton is too "hip and intellectually gifted" to admit that his article is shit.

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author avatar Josh
10th Jan 2013 (#)

In other words: it's not that your article is confusing on a base level, it's that it's confusing as to why you would attempt to place yourself intellectually above Homestuck fans with the implication that you've seen Pierrot le Fou once. Your argument that Homestuck fans are pretentious assholes is weakened by the fact that you're a pretentious asshole.

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author avatar I hate homestuck
10th Jan 2013 (#)

incredible

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author avatar Angle
10th Jan 2013 (#)

"Thousands of people don't understand what I was trying to write. Obviously THEY have the problem"
Yeah ok.

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author avatar Harry Butz
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Pftch. Way to rewrite history by writing history out of the picture.
http://i47.tinypic.com/popoi.png
Luckily for you, historians are working tirelessly to preserve the incoherent memory of your article, thought to be long gone. You're welcome!

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author avatar Lindsay
10th Jan 2013 (#)

people are actually getting legitimately upset over this article oh my god

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author avatar Poopsmith
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I'm tired of people who bash postmodernism by calling it pretentious. They never point out whether a postmodern work fails to achieve what it's aiming to do because they're too busy masturbating over how they can weaponize the concept to come up with an actual argument.

I can see what he was trying to do, but he fails at making fun of Homestuck fans because he's dumber than what he's trying to write. He mocks Homestuck fans as equating tropes with themes when he fails to see that a) most Homestucks are fairly young and b) he's full of shit. Yeah, Homestuck is postmodern. One of the themes of the story, as in most postmodern works, is how tropes and idioms shape the way we interact with each other and with the world. But to think that the story ultimately equates the two shows that he fails to read it even at a basic analytic level; unfortunate, given his constant shilling of his own intellect. Now, perhaps, you could take a stretch from there and make an argument that Homestuck fails to live up to the standard set by things like Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead, Pierrot le Fou, or Gravity's Rainbow, but you'd still be hard-pressed to argue that the text of Homestuck is trying to meet those standards in the first place. He also fails to understand the ways in which Homestuck is compared to Joyce by bits of the fandom— that both texts are somewhat ergodic in nature that encourage effort in the act of reading is pretty much entirely where the comparison begins and ends. Again, he could argue that the fandom uses such a general comparison to prop themselves on a high horse, but he's doing the exact same thing when he fails to comprehend the first bit of that train of logic.

Of course, any criticism of his criticism can be handwaved away by either mockingly pointing out that Homestucks are pretentious and think he "doesn't get it" or doing the opposite and explicitly saying that Homestucks "don't get it". But let's give him some credit here: his goal isn't to stick his head up his own ass in parody of himself, unless it is.

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author avatar Robert M
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Another one who thinks he's so clever & so misunderstood.

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author avatar Kumara Dosha
10th Jan 2013 (#)

LOL, Timothy Sexton is mad, guys!

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author avatar I Want to smell your dick
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Timothy Sexton, pls let me smell yo dick.

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author avatar Tomato
10th Jan 2013 (#)

ha ha, too true my man, way to stick it to those teenagers in my opinion...

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author avatar Rivers
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I don't see why you are all laughing and criticizing this article. This is a work of genius. It's brought me to tears. I believe I truly understand Homestuck now.

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author avatar Those darn homestuck brats
10th Jan 2013 (#)

So, how much of Homestuck did this fellow read, and why is he so focused on the distant possibility that it might be adapted to film one day?

David Lynch, really now. Do you actually believe that is a legitimate possibility, or are you just tutting and sighing dramatically about kids these days? There there, let me lead you to the fainting chaise where you can bemoan the errant and stupid youth of today just like every generation of grumpy old men has done since the dawn of man.

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author avatar Yes,ihaveboobs
10th Jan 2013 (#)

PSSSSSST!

*GUYS!*
*WE'RE ON THE INTERNET*
*THIS IS ALL PROBABLY A JOKE*

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author avatar Andrew
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I realize that everyone has their opinions, and that's fine by me. What gets me annoyed is when people start bashing and alienating others for being "baffled" by something that, on a scale of confusing from one to ten, is definitely a Homestuck. What this author doesn't seem to understand is that Homestuck readers are not baffled by a lack of proper grammar such as this article, nor by rambling, incoherent tangents, like this article exhibits. I assure you, I tried my hardest to let this article be as clear and well-written as the previous Homestuck articles,but I really could not discern a single main point from this, except that the author attempted to be witty and pulled it off very poorly.

You see, Homestuck is confusing in its own right, not because of poorly-pieced-together writing, but because of its complex web of characters and their actions and how everything connects. It starts out with only a limited view of a miniscule section of the web, and gradually the camera zooms out.

The author hear attempts to compare his article to Homestuck, when the reasons that it is "confusing" are in no way related to zhomestuck. Homestuck is written well, this is not. All I can say is that it is necessary to have a complete knowledge of something before you can write about it and bash it. Keep that in mind, Timothy Sexton.

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author avatar Kevin
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Sounds like somebody is butthurt

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author avatar Luke Triton
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I feel like I should be offended, but I'm not because I'm older than the 12.9 year old who wrote this.

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author avatar C
10th Jan 2013 (#)

p sure you meant comprehension, not apprehension.

and your article was incomprehensible.

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author avatar Brad
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I have to say, there's a special kind of irony to a man attempting to prove he's smarter than everyone else by throwing what equates to a temper tantrum.

But honestly, sir, this is laughably childish. Your original article was, for all appearances, little more than a world salad. A syntactical, grammatical, and compositional quagmire that only served to demonstrate how breathtakingly little you actually knew about the subject matter. It was painfully obvious that, at the time of writing, you've never read a single word of Homestuck, and you had absolutely no knowledge of the comic other than that it does, in fact, exist, and has a reputation for being obtuse. And clearly the editors at Yahoo saw this as well, seeing as how they removed your incomprehensible babble almost immediately.

And now you do this? You write a new article for a different website where you whine and complain and throw petty insults at everyone who reads the comic, simply because they saw your ridiculous rambling for what it was? Pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself, sir.

But of course, I'm writing this at the intellectual level of a Homestuck reader. Perhaps I should rephrase it so someone as smart as you can understand it:

Your first article was super dumb, this one is even dumber, and you are clearly not as smart as you think you are.

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author avatar EK
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Ahahaha, dear god, this is the most immature thing I've ever seen. Is this your usual response to critics? How do you FUNCTION?

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author avatar Caleb
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Your "original article" on this website is not hard to understand at all. However, it is most certainly not the same article that was placed on Yahoo!. That article was full of enough spelling errors and illogical sentence structure to make 50 generations of English teachers burst into tears.

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author avatar Hunter X
10th Jan 2013 (#)

I can see three possible explanations for this article and the one it references:

1) The author was drunk at the time. Considering the rambling, almost-but-not-quite-incoherent nature of the original article, this is entirely possible.
2) The author legitimately tried to make the original article hard to read in attempt to validate the points he raises in this article, in which case he completely missed the point about what makes Homestuck complex (the reasons for which other commenters have already explained far better than I could).
3) The original article was a legitimate attempt at journalism that fell short, and now the author is trying to recover lost ground by making it seem like the readers are the ones at fault.

I'm not honestly sure which one of these is correct, but unfortunately none of them reflect all too well on the author.

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author avatar Opti
10th Jan 2013 (#)

This entire article can be summarized in one image: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Rainbow-Dash-Laughtersmall_2499.png

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author avatar Timbrothy
10th Jan 2013 (#)

So ok.

Homestuck is this game that a lot of cats seem hella pumped of. And this beta is sitting on my desk for review, so I'm like, yeah man I'll write something.

But I don't know. I'm like, so this is about houses or some noise? That's fine, I'm sure that's like fucking dynamite in a handbag for some brosephs. But all I'm saying is, when do you get to thrash anything? While you're playing house or some shit, are you ever in jeopardy of getting mud on your doll's dress or whatever from busting out, and I quote, "the mad wicked stunts all wicked-ins"?

Know what I'm saying, Bro-Yo Ma? I didn't actually play this game, but I gave it 1.5 out of 5 hats to keep it real.

At this point I'd like to give a shout out to my boy Dennis who was over the other day. We were going to chill in front of The Dark Knight and he was so psyched of it y'all.

So this one time he was leaning against the screen door and the shit popped open, and the back deck was wet and he slipped down the steps and broke his thumb on the lawn. It wasn't a long fall, but hey I guess a thumb bone wasn't made for supporting the brunt of a huge useless tool against wet grass. We never did watch The Dark Knight on account of Ron trucking his bawling candy-ass girth to the hospital.

But it's cool, I still got another watch in me, Brotel Rwanda.

BRO-NOTES:
Dennis was so wasted, ha ha. I mean damn.

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author avatar Nepetafan_spellchecker
20th Feb 2013 (#)

This made me laugh.

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author avatar Flairina
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Oh WOW, and here I thought that professional writers didn't sink to the same level as a ten year old throwing a temper tantrum. It's like reading out a script of the fit my ten year old brother threw last night when we explained why the book he was writing made no sense. You haven't read Homestuck at all, have you? You haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. You just wanted to write about how this next popular thing could be a movie as an attention grabber, except that you rushed or didn't care. So when it made no sense, you just said "Screw it, I'm sending it in!"

Also, it's not like everyone who read that article has short term memory loss; that is CLEARLY not the original article. You edited that a LOT, which frankly you should have done BEFORE posting it the first time. I hope next time you decide to write about something that you clearly don't understand, you'll reconsider, or perhaps ram your head against a wall a few times to remove the idiocy from your brain.

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author avatar Alec
10th Jan 2013 (#)

It's funny how you can't comprehend our response correctly. Your article resembles one written by an autistic 3-year-old, and because we ripped on it, you jump to the conclusion that we couldn't understand it. It's also funny how when you catch drift of any negativity from the fandom, you abscond from yahoo, and re-post your shitty article somewhere less known, to attempt to get less negative feedback, while still insulting us, and acting like a scared little child. You must be proud.

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author avatar Doop pringles
10th Jan 2013 (#)

are you a drunk baby

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author avatar Duke
10th Jan 2013 (#)

While I agree that parts of the fandom are unpleasant, there are also many brilliant, talented people that in no way deserve being called stupid, nor arrogant. If your intention was to write a review of Homestuck, I also do not believe that it is your place to judge the readers in it. Reviews are for informing others what you thought of a certain work, in order for them to judge whether they themselves might like to read it or not, and not for bashing the fans. You're patronising and, quite frankly, rude.
It is true that Homestuck, having been made specifically for the internet, might be dificult to adapt into film, since it will be lacking the interactive element. The sheer magnitude of the story would also make it impossible to make into a single film without cutting out more that half of everything that happens. This doesn't mean it's impossible, nor that people shouldn't want to try and make it into one. If you don't like the story and don't want to watch the film, the solution is sinple: just don't watch it.
Now to conclude I would like to apologise for adding yet another comment that you're unlikely to read, and for those who did act immaturely in these comments, because that, too, was uncalled for. I wish you better luck with the next story you try to review.

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author avatar Gamzee
10th Jan 2013 (#)

CaLm DoWn AnD sLaM a MoThErFuCkInG fAyGo, BrOtHeR. hOnK hOnK. :o(

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author avatar Lex
10th Jan 2013 (#)

You said therw would links to the critics. Where are the links to the critics?

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author avatar Caitlin
10th Jan 2013 (#)

Just because your article was incoherent and riddled with eyebrow-raising ignorance of the topic does not mean that you get to attack the fanbase. Furthermore, if you actually understood the fanbase at all, you'd know that no one has ever even mentioned the desire for a Homestuck movie.

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author avatar Jack (Noir?)
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Read at least up to (and including) Descend in Homestuck, then maybe write a somewhat more intelligent article using your newfound epiphanies.

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author avatar Never Even Read Homestuck
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Wow. That article was so badly written. It tried to sound smart, but coming from the movie directors area, you sir are... not even worth the fight. You have no idea what your talking about. Don't bash people who like reading something that they can claim as complicated. More power to em. I bet most of them are probably really smart. You just hear from the one's that you deem stupid.

So please shut up.

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author avatar Viridian
11th Jan 2013 (#)

From a writing standpoint, this is a bizarre and badly written article.

I wouldn't call it "confusing". I'd call it "confused". It shows a strange, meandering thought process without any kind of inner logic.

Like the whole thing about Homestuck not being movie material... no shit, Sherlock. Webcomics, much like print comics and serial novels, are written differently than movies. Read the Scott Pilgrim books and then watch the movie; then you'll know what I mean. Ergo, suggesting that Homestuck would adapt badly to the silver screen is not an insult. It's a fact.

And it's like you're trying to make it like there's this THING where Homestucks go around touting themselves as unusually clever. They don't. That's not a thing. No one does that. No one cares.

Whereas you have this... TONE throughout the article, like you've got a stick up your ass. I don't care which filmmakers you think are cool. That's not the focus here, hipster.

Even your word choice has this snobby, "I'm trying to prove I'm smart" vibe. Apprehend? Sure, that works were you put it, but it's not the best choice for clarity and accuracy, given it's primarily used to mean "stop", not "understand". "Comprehend" would be better, and you know that. But you use "apprehend" instead because you've gotta show off your mad word skillz. You go, hipster. You USE that thesaurus.

Point is, don't write things.You're really, really bad at it.

Quit your bitchin'.

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author avatar Iamwhiteandalsoirap
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Your article starts out with, "Comedy is hard. Death is easy. That makes Homestuck a juggler," implying the rest of the article will be about Homestuck's juggling act between serious and comical subject matter and the implications that would have for a hypothetical film. But then you spend the first real paragraph waxing philosophical on the difference between theme and trope. Your next two paragraphs each begin with a question, then almost instantly devovle into completely unrelated points. The paragraph beginning, "Theme or trope? You decide," is really more about how some elements of Homestuck would be difficult to translate to screen (or maybe wouldn't be that difficult, I actually couldn't tell which point you were making), and the paragraph which starts out asking if "internet culture" is a valid term ends up making the point that Homestuck can be pretty funny sometimes. Then you clinch it with an observation that Homestuck is the new face of humour and its becoming a movie is inevitable. Unless it isn't. Unless it is. Unless it isn't.

You mock Homestuck readers for high school-age, but now I'm legitimately wondering if you ever passed a high school English class.

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author avatar Blemily
11th Jan 2013 (#)

I'm not sure whether I want to point and laugh at you because of the blatant absurdity of this article, or kiss you because your surreal unconventionality and level of convoluted reasoning match my own. So I give you a spade because I love and hate you at the same time. ♠ Congrats.

"Get ready for it if you still get your laughs above the waistline, sunshine, because very soon your world will be rocked."

Well, ironically enough, Homestuck DOES make me laugh from my vagina from time to time, I guess? If that includes fangasming over the various flashes.

"Not to judge from the manner in which Homestuck attacks a world where “trolling” is most definitely not about gruff billy goats or a world in which “to Tumblr for ya” has nothing to do with boys named George."

^^ This is actually what I was referring to when I mentioned your convoluted sense of reasoning *gives you a gold star for uniqueness*

Lastly,
"Webcomics are not necessarily all about comedy as the name might suggest"

Um, ever heard of Superman or X-men? I'm pretty sure something can be a "comic" without being centered around comedy, dude.

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author avatar Wolftamer9
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Okay, I don't have anything to say that hasn't been said. Still, looking at your other articles, it's hard not to notice that you're actually a good writer who's capable of writing structured, comprehensible articles with a central message and various relevant points on the subject. So the question is, what the crap is going on here? Is this some kind of elaborate trolling attempt? Is someone using your computer without your permission? What could possibly have possessed you to write an article that has been effortlessly and skillfully dissected and criticized by countless people, while supposedly acting offended and oblivious?

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author avatar Gilgadiir
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Let's just read this first paragraph here...

"If you remain unaware of Homestuck as an internet phenomenon, then you either don't kids or aren't aware of this here thing called the internets. As George W. Bush used to refer (and probably still refer) to it. Homestuck is one day going to become a movie of some sort. Comedy is hard. Death is easy. That makes Homestuck a juggler."

What? This isn't what you wrote? Well, it wasn't what you posted here, that's for sure. It was what you posted originally, though. Trust me, we didn't lose track of that article. It was hilarious and nonsensical enough that you even attracted the attention of Hussie himself.

If an intellectual tried to decipher your words, it would only be after a violent suicide attempt brought about by the intense shock of his reaction to your broken English. Or, at least, after making a face, one which likely doesn't properly portray the breadth of his disgust.

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author avatar Jesus
11th Jan 2013 (#)

ha
ha ha
ha ha ha ha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcngyEjX_DY

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author avatar Sexton's justjealous of Hussie
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Sexton? Like, a ton of sex? Yeah right, I bet you he's still a virgin.

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author avatar Mildly annoyed Homestuck #1321
11th Jan 2013 (#)

"Allow me to further alienate the fan base of Homestuck by forcing them to attempt comprehension of a movie a thousand times more complex than their own beloved MS Paint Adventure webcomic by quoting Bogey from 'Casablanca.' "

Really? A thousand times more complex? I haven't seen Casablanca in years, but I'm having trouble imagining how a single film could match the complexity of Homestuck. This comic has created an entire world, with dozens of major characters across several universes and timelines; a deep and challenging game-within-a-story which is heavily customizable to allow multiple iterations to produce their own distinctive stories; a system of character classification that is reflected both in the game they play and the characters' personal interactions and actions as part of the broader story; multiple alien species, with their own unique biologies and cultures; an enormously dense vocabulary of repeated words, phrases and concepts that color its narration; and a totally original medium which blends written text, animation and interactive gameplay.

If you wanted to argue that some movie is BETTER than Homestuck, you might have some good points to make. But more complex? Homestuck took me a month to read, and that was a year ago, meaning it's now significantly longer. And I'm a relatively fast reader. Unless Casablanca is packing a month's worth of narrative complexity into a two-hour span (something I seriously doubt), your statement is just plain wrong.

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author avatar Mildly annoyed Homestuck #1321
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Oh, and by the way: Big fan of Joyce right here. I did a book report on Finnegans Wake in high school. (Homestuck Causes Enjoyment!) Not saying that makes me automatically "hip" or "gifted" or whatever, mind you. Just saying some of us actually do appreciate literature. I'll leave it to the professionals to decide whether Homestuck falls under that category - "professionals" not including you.

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author avatar Wwhats up
11th Jan 2013 (#)

I didn't really read your article in the first place but I see that you've fixed some of the glaringly obvious spelling and grammatical error. Improvement.

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author avatar Some dude
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Are you attempting to be ironically humorous? Is this some sort of attempt at writing a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff style review? If it is, then you get a gold star. If not...I've read your other stuff. You seem to understand basic grammar and sentence structure. Why are you not using it?

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author avatar Silound
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Sir, your article was less baffling in the comprehending english department and more baffling in 'how could someone seriously write this.' Which sort of wooshed over your head. I have no ill will towards you, but I was honestly pretty baffled by this article. I understand Ulysses and Homestuck and uh, Casablanca just fine. Inception, even. But lines such as this "Comedy is hard. Death is easy. That makes Homestuck a juggler." are kind of baffling in their mere existence. :x I'm glad you liked HS in anycase.

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author avatar Silound
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Basically, advice from an avid reader: please work on your sentence structure and flow. Less fadingly clever attempts/sentence fragments and more words for clearer meaning and a generally cleaner article. Put reasoning based on the comic and your main point/relevant opinions rather than a portion of fans from the internet and your strangely bitter bashing of them (what are you expecting in turn) and voila better article.

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author avatar Silound
11th Jan 2013 (#)

ugh, still resisting the urge to spork this entire article. But it's hardly worth the effort there is so much wrong here it's like watching a viola player trying to play a violin you sort of know what's going on but at the same time you clearly do not at all. Maybe you won a spelling bee at some point but god superfluous words and painfully ignorant metaphors and it just tips straight into ridiculous. Oh wait. This is parody, isn't it. Oh, nevermind then. Kudos to you!

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author avatar Rico
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Wait this article is about making homestuck into a movie? Pft.

Ok, a game, I'd understand. An anime, would be hilarious.

But where did he even get this idea? Youtube?

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author avatar Confused stoner
11th Jan 2013 (#)

dude what

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author avatar Georgie
11th Jan 2013 (#)

props to you for both of your articles, mr sexton.

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author avatar Universalperson
11th Jan 2013 (#)

Relevant: https://twitter.com/andrewhussie/status/289234877965033472

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author avatar FedoraFreak
12th Jan 2013 (#)

I do believe you are attempting to taunt us, dear sir.

However, I will not take your accusations on a serious level until you purchase a fine piece of hattery. It is the mark of a true gentleman, after all.

Might I suggest the crumple style?

Until such a time, please see yourself to the door.

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author avatar NAra
12th Jan 2013 (#)

Do you get money from traffic to this page? After reading ALL comments and the "how does wikinut work?" link http://guides.wikinut.com/How-does-Wikinut-work%3F/befkajoh/#So-how-do-I-make-money , I can only think this is some kind of scam which involves getting millions of homestuck haters and homestuck into this web... but maybe I don't think I'm appehensive enough?

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author avatar Not into Homestuck but really
12th Jan 2013 (#)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAA
COMEDY GOLD RIGHT HERE
2013 COMEDY GOLD REWARD GOES TO THIS PERSON.
I hate Yahoo articles that makes no sense anyway. :D

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author avatar Red
12th Jan 2013 (#)

Why are you such a hater? That's a huge group of people you just insulted for literally no reason.

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author avatar How did you pass high school
12th Jan 2013 (#)

despite being a journalist, your grammatical errors show the true meaning behind your words
" intellectually snobbery"

Good job alienating your readers for the hipster cause.

So you post this onto another website to justify your atrocious writing skills.

I'm not even a homestuck fan and i can tell that you're just trying to be a douchebag.
The only reason you're doing this is because you've run out of things to write about and so you're trying to garner fame by insulting a large portion of the internet

congratulations

you're now famous for "Guy Maddin and any other filmmaker who does not worship at the feet of James Cameron or Michael Bay"

you're now a conspiratorialst also

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author avatar Nuavre
12th Jan 2013 (#)

I did not understand anything you said, mainly because it was so disorganized, and I really had no idea what you were referring to. There wasn't really any reason stated why you dislike Homestuck, and your 'facts' that 'proved' why Homestuck fans and Homestuck weren't great are mostly opinions.
And take note that this is coming from a 13 year old.

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author avatar Confused
12th Jan 2013 (#)

How come this whole article revolves around the possible idea of a movie? You seem to be getting so worked up about the details of the movie, when in likelihood there is going to be no movie. Where do you get this evidence of a movie at all, did it just pop out of your backside and you decided it was a worthy idea to talk about. Its like me getting mad at the idea that in the near future the best selling book by E L James (50 Shades of Grey) is going to be adapted into a Musical play set for theatrical stages all across the world. It just doesn't make sense

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author avatar Intellectually snobbery
12th Jan 2013 (#)

the only one guilty of "intellectually snobbery" is you.

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author avatar GTFO
12th Jan 2013 (#)

Excuse me dear Sir, but I recommend that you SHUT THE FUCK UP, please? You just ridiculed and fought against something really important to many people. I might have not been able to read your original post but please, just stop making a jackass out of yourself.

First of all, no one claimed that they wanted Homestuck as a movie. Second, please get your facts straight before trying to degrade a webcomic with a ridiculously huge fanbase. And lastly, your whole article is completely ironic in so many levels.

Yes, have been in the fandom for around 3 months now. But I have NEVER heard about anything or anyone that says that Hussie (or the fans) wanted Homestuck as a movie because it would dramatically affect the way the story gets delivered. This move that you made is also really really bad and crazy, I have no idea why you even had the guts to post something moronic like this in public. You should have at least proof-read it or something. Also, a tip that our teachers never fail to tell us is that a proper journalist should never forget to gather all necessary data when making an article. And please, stop aggravating the fans, you're just making things worse for yourself.

Yes, I am a 16-year old which means I fall within the category of "Teenagers" and I am Homestuck fan. I know that my opinion will sound biased because I approve of Homestuck. Yes, I admit that I might not be as "intellectual" as the others, and I assure you that I am almost absolutely clueless when it comes to the technicalities in proper syntax and grammar because for that is not my forte.

I will sound like a someone full of himself here but I do believe that even someone like me is capable of writing a better article. Even if English is not my native language, I know that I am capable of writing a decent article with an actual angle and direction minus the help of a dictionary.

If someone like me can do that. Someone which is a part of the Homestuck fandom which is "Not Quite as Hip and Intellectually Gifted" as we originally thought we were could do better than you, then you better think twice before doing something more idiotic than this. Why? Because I assure you, there are Homestuck fans out there that are much more intellectually inclined than me.

P.S.
Try to at least try to read past the first chapter so you can at least know what the fuck is it that you're talking about.

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author avatar Airdeari
13th Jan 2013 (#)

This writing references unexplained subjects in a non sequitur fashion and shifts focus constantly. It is incomprehensible to anyone giving it just a casual skim.

He wrote a review of Homestuck... in the style of Homestuck.

Just say it was intentional, Mr. Sexton, and maybe we'll leave thinking you have some credibility as a journalist.

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author avatar GTFO
13th Jan 2013 (#)

I'm so sorry for being an arrogant bastard in my past post. But seriously though, don't judge the Homestuck fandom. There are people there that are actually really great and awesome. But still, the way you speak is really unacceptable. I prefer that you do not generalize the people because you do not know them at all.

Besides, homestuck is the most complex, fun and deepest webcomic I have ever encountered where every little thing is a part of something very big. The interpretation of the story itself needs deep thinking in order to be understood.

Why don't you try and read it yourself and let's see if you can understand it that easily.

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author avatar Lawls
13th Jan 2013 (#)

I thought the original article was hilarious but I can't take a David lynch fan's opinion seriously.

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author avatar Idek
13th Jan 2013 (#)

dude frick u

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author avatar LOL
13th Jan 2013 (#)

hahahhahahahahahahha wat

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author avatar Omg
13th Jan 2013 (#)

bless u

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author avatar Kat
13th Jan 2013 (#)

Your ignorance is shines brighter than a diamond polished with a nice and throaty glob of spit. How can you expect people to take you seriously when you can't take criticism for an article that was so convoluted that even the author of Homestuck, the subject of the article, deems it confusing? You can hardly call yourself a writer. And tag your triggers, I'm sure many Homestucks have been and continually are "offended" (lol) by this revision to your original article.

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author avatar Hahahah
13th Jan 2013 (#)

hahaha hello future me

i wonder if you knew i wouldn't lose the wager

it doesn't matter hahahahahaha

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author avatar Hahahah
13th Jan 2013 (#)

look at me, hiding clues where no one would look

see you in 7 years

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author avatar Dan
13th Jan 2013 (#)

Some people in the fandom are stupid. A lot of them aren't. You shouldn't generalize by calling the entire fandom idiots, because insulting millions of people at once is generally regarded as a bad idea.

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author avatar Jennifer
13th Jan 2013 (#)

"way, way, way to*"
*too

Welcome to the internet!

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author avatar Amy
14th Jan 2013 (#)

I'm really amazed by all the wonderful and respectful commentaries. This is more than what he deserves.

And I still don't comprehend why he insists to make a movie out of Homestuck. It wouldn't work out.

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author avatar Dexy
14th Jan 2013 (#)

Okay, so here's what happened here;
You, Timothy, wrote a terrible article. It was cryptic, confusing, and nobody, Homestuck fans and non-Homestuck fans alike, understood what you were talking about.

Then Hussie among many others comment on your terrible writing style, so you've taken it upon yourself to justify said writing style by calling the fans unintelligent.

Here is what you must understand; Homestuck is a large fanbase with participants ranging from pre-teens and younger to young adults and older. You cannot generalize the intelligence of an entire fandom that contains people of many shapes, colors, circumstances, and mentalities.

When you have so many different people telling you that there is a problem with your writing style, it's not them that's the problem, it's YOU.

As someone who works in Media, it would be wise of you to gain a little bit of perspective on what you write before you write it.

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author avatar Parrot
14th Jan 2013 (#)

Damn, someone's bitter.

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author avatar Sovereign
14th Jan 2013 (#)

If this whole thing ISN'T a massive dig at the Homestuck fandom and Homestuck as a whole, then I actually feel sorry for you in a way.
The problem with this is your original article was hard to understand, worded in such a way that anyone with a basic sense of grammar and knowledge would english would be confused. Read: A large portion of people in the world.
The two articles are very loose and seem to have no point but to poke fun at our fandom. As fans, we have our right to defend the thing we support. As you have your right to defend your arguement.
However, there comes a time when you have to realise your point isn't 'right', as in there is no way to state either point in a way beneficial of your cause. It's a bit of a pity, but that's something that happens.
It's best to get a feel for what you're reporting on - maybe read a few pages, read the Wiki: little things like that can make a world of difference to articles going into unknown territory from your perspective.

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author avatar David
14th Jan 2013 (#)

The reason Homestuck fans did not understand your original article had nothing to do with their comprehension abilities. The article, for anything else, was extremely poorly written, with misbegotten clauses and typos that would make the average writer blush. I've read my share of James Joyce, and a good deal else as an English major, and the original article perhaps read best as a slapstick piece of Absurd humor in that it was unreadable and absurd. Its writing was intrinsically indefensible.

All of that seemed perfectly forgivable to me because everyone has off days. However, attacking a community literate and "intellectually gifted" enough to see through that article's emptiness seems not only cowardly but rude...and a tad bit silly.

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author avatar Moe
14th Jan 2013 (#)

Even though this article is not about a fundamentalist religion, I want to call Poe's Law upon it as well as parts of the discussion revolving around it.

As a rationalist, I must say that it is much more likely that what most of the people here pointed out is true (1), firstly because applying Ockhams Razor would suggest so (2), secondly because more people perceived it as bullshit then as satirical gold. and it is more likely that some are wrong then many.

Still, it is impossible to tell for sure if you are a genius troll and master of satire or just had a bad day or are in fact what some may call a pretentious hipster (not that there is anything wrong with the two latter options).
Of course there are some other options, like the theory you just want to create a shitstorm to attract traffic etc..., anyways, I think I explained the reason to call Poe's law on this well enough.

Since I elaborated that point far enough, I can now employ my master plan to pull some other "Internet Rules" into this comment. Firstly, I demand that Rule 34 may be followed and that somebody creates Sexton/Hussie artwork or at least slashfiction. Maybe I will even do the latter myself.
Secondly, I want to full-fill Godwin's law as well, so let me just say:
What you did there, generalizing an entire fandom to be pretentious and saying they think of themselves as hip and intellectually gifted even though they are not, is just as bad as saying "all Jews have big noses and are greedy thieves"(3). Therefore you are just as bad as Hitler. Somebody please hand me my Godwin-point.


(1) That you did a bad job writing the article etc... I think enough has been said about that.

(2) Because "You're a brilliant troll and satirical genius" is a much bigger assumption then "You wrote a lot of bullshit".

(3) See how I compared the Homestuck fandom to a religion again, thus creating a bridge to the beginning of this comment? See how I explicitly pointed this awesome aspect of my comment out to create and endless recursion of meta-language based irony?

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author avatar Moe
14th Jan 2013 (#)

€: In the second sentence, the first period is supposed to be a comma.

Also I completely missed the awesome opportunity to make a cheap pun with the name Sexton in the context of Rule 34, and wanted to apologize for that.
The other aspects of my comment that are suboptimal are the inconsistent usage of " ' " to separate the possessive s from the names it is attached to (Poe's and Ockhams), this is confusing to me as a foreign speaker, as well as the triple-or construction in the fourth sentence. There may be more that could have been refined, but I don't want to over-correct and -review a comment on an article on the internet (again you may read the last sentence with as much levels of irony as you wish ).

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author avatar Dave The Dave
14th Jan 2013 (#)

So basically you were drunk when writing the original, and this is your attempt to make yourself look better?

Sorry, but this article is still kind of badly written.

2/5 hats

Definitely an improvement from
http://i.imgur.com/AU61N.png
though

Got some amusement out of this whole thing though, so nicely done. :)

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author avatar Test
14th Jan 2013 (#)

<script>alert("hello")</script>

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author avatar Anon
15th Jan 2013 (#)

Reported for terrorism.

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author avatar Z
15th Jan 2013 (#)

Yeah, definitely badly written and completely un-based in fact whatsoever, but people are missing the point (be it intentional or not) that the all-too-convoluted, over the top article was pretty much a replica of how Homestuck is written? Like, if you just wandered into the middle of Act 5 without any former knowledge, how screwed are you? That's the feel of this article, which is hilarious considering what it's trying to tell you (that Homestuck is a complete farce, which is hard to believe coming from this article of all things)

So even if it wasn't on purpose, props to making it so confusing even Homestucks don't understand it.

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author avatar Daniel
15th Jan 2013 (#)

If Hussie is the Waste of Space then this guy is the Waste of Time because that's what this article was.

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author avatar Nepetafan_spellchecker
20th Feb 2013 (#)

Your comment made me snort in laughter.

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author avatar Jenny
16th Jan 2013 (#)

I'm not even really sure what to say. You obviously don't have any information about Homestuck or mspaintaventures as a series. The propersition of a movie is both sort of absurd since the characters don't speak until like more than have way through the movie. Who wants to watch a movie where everyone is communicating through only type? And for the movie to even maybe kind of make sense it would have to expand several movies. And holy baby Jesus I would feel bad for the script writer. Anyway your article is pretentious and ridiculous and pretty much gives no information about your topic's context. This isn't even critizing the comic correctly. You kind of need to read the thing or at at least a good chunk of it before you can make judgement of something and not look like an idiot. Further more the attack on the fans was totally unnessissary, your a grown man and your picking on a bunch of teenagers and young adults way to go. Your judgement of the fandom as a whole being snobbish without having intellect is completely insulting to a very large group of people that you don't even know. You wrote this terribly and I still don't understand what is the point your even trying to make.

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author avatar Homestuckfangirl
17th Jan 2013 (#)

laughing really hard at everything on this page XD

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author avatar Neferius
17th Jan 2013 (#)

Wait... so your principal form of entertainment as a teenager was watching Saturday Night Live ?:]
Wow, and i thought MY youth was wasted xD

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author avatar Tori Banks
17th Jan 2013 (#)

I could respond to all your alleged logical points and arguments.
I almost did.

But instead I'd like to ask you something.
Not for sympathy.
You do realize you're talking about people?
You know, human beings? Emotions? Opinions? Making logical decisions?
I seriously doubt anyone is baffled by your literary genius and astounding sense of judgement.
We're baffled that you decided to criticise a comic you clearly have barely read and loop every single one of it's many fans under one simple label, in order to satisfy your somehow depraved lust for justice against a webcomic.

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author avatar Mr. Amused
19th Jan 2013 (#)

"What's the point in this? I don't get it!" Asking such questions and being confused truly isn't stupid, as this "review" has no point or ANYTHING to get. It's pointless, not really huge wall of text that says basically nothing.
As others have said, you label everyone "under one simple label".
I'd personally prefer you not writing these "reviews" before you know what you are talking about and how to actually WRITE reviews.
Don't blame the readers, blame yourself. Your writing as such just isn't good enough.
Please, just... look what you have written. It's stupid.
But sadly, I'm amused.

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author avatar Honk
22nd Jan 2013 (#)

I warned you about bad articles, bro.
I WARNED YOU.

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author avatar SS
25th Jan 2013 (#)

This is an over 40 adult addressing his terse feelings about a comic aimed for a young demographic. That talk about trolling, Tumblr, old comics etc etc... those are pretty much an unspoken form of Things Were Much Better in My Day.

What stuck to me most is the definition of a comic as being comedic. That was written all over the review. Let me paraphrase the article and tell me if I got this wrong, "Schulz was a good comic writer because Peanuts had real comedy. Homestuck fails at being a (web)comic because it has no real comedy, and the 'comedy' that it does use is so modern that over 40 people like me who thinks that stuff like schadenfreude is funny have no way of connecting to." I still am not sure whether Mr. Sexton intended it to mean that comics MUST be funny, or that he just expects comics to be funny.

On a somewhat related note. You cannot argue with me that Peanuts never contained schadenfreude. All those panels of lil' Charlie Browne being laughed at, compared to a ball, all those were meant to be funny.

One thing I do agree with him, though, is that Homestuck really won't make a great movie unless the producer/director is a genius.

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author avatar CarcinoGeneticist
25th Jan 2013 (#)

BWAHAHA. HILARIOUS, WOULD YOU LIKE A FUCKING GOLD STAR?

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author avatar Anon
26th Jan 2013 (#)

The rest of the article be damned, but just where the hell did the frequent referencing to this hypothetical Homestuck movie come from?

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author avatar Hella jeff
28th Jan 2013 (#)

AHAHAHAHA just how HIGH do you even have to BE just to DO something like that.........

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author avatar An interested party
31st Jan 2013 (#)

Er, pardon me, and I know this has been stated in previous comments, but... What exactly is your point here? All that I can tell you've said (beneath the baseless and pointless insults and the meandering language) is that Homestuck has themes that might be tropes, and that perhaps one day a movie will be made out of it, and that you don't believe in "Internet culture."

...I'm sorry, but I don't really see an argument there. "It's possible that will happen" isn't an argument, and as to the themes/tropes, well, they only come up once at the very beginning of your article, and don't have much to do with what little topic I can find. The same is true for "Internet culture," though you bring it up out of nowhere in the middle of your article rather than the beginning. All in all, it doesn't seem like you're really saying much here, and this piece of writing seems to me to be more akin to an annoyed thirteen-year-old on MySpace than the creation of someone who takes pride in their work.

If you believe that my confusion at your lack of a thesis makes me a blundering oaf whose own stupidity was the cause of my lack of understanding, then I'm sorry your worldview is so small as to render you incapable of recognizing that not everybody's mind works in the exact same way as yours. Honestly, I can't think of many remedies for this malady, but I suggest you start by reading more.

Of course, if you write any articles in the future and would like to make sure that they're better-written than this one, I would be happy to collaborate or act as your editor. After all, I believe that the Internet at its best is used as a mode of communication and shared creation, many people coming together to make the most out of an existing work, or to make something new altogether. It's almost like the Internet has a whole culture all its own! It's a fascinating subject, and if you'd like to talk about it (or want some help on your next article!), I would love to have a chat.

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author avatar ArachnidsGrip
31st Jan 2013 (#)

Haaaaaaaa!

How hilarious! ::::D

You're even more pathetic than that low-8lood loser I paralyzed and then mercilessly murdered.

Grow a pair, Sexton. ;;;;)

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author avatar Julia
2nd Feb 2013 (#)

I love how Sexton writes an article about how stupid Homestuck readers are, and the fandom responds with a slew of Homestuck jokes that are relevant to the post and a plethora of well-written, intelligent, comprehensible comments, proving him wrong just through their writing skill.

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author avatar Kendra
3rd Feb 2013 (#)

haha this is so cute < 3 look at the guy getting all up and angry stating his opinion like that its like an angry kitten~

good luck with the homestuck fandom, they don't really like to give into peoples bullsh!t. Just remember that I warned you bro. The hetalia fandom likes to back them up also.

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author avatar Kankri Vantas
4th Feb 2013 (#)

I am highly 9ffended 6y this. While every9ne is entitled t9 his 9r her 9wn 9pini9n, y9u have just insulted c9untless pe9ple due t9 y9ur ign9rance. I 6elieve I speak f9r every9ne here that this man isn't as g99d at writing articles as he thinks he is, and that he sh9uld 6e m9re careful next time he states his 9pini9n. This article is in dire need 9f trigger warnings, s9 n969dy is 9ffended 6ef9re reading, I'm n9t sure why they'd d9 that anyway, this is a disgraceful article. If I 9ffended any9ne I deeply app9l9gize.

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author avatar Insigma
17th Feb 2013 (#)

I don't get it. The fact that anyone in his or her right mind would immediately perceive the members of the Homestuck fandom as being "Hip and Intellectually Gifted" is baffling enough... but who the hell said anything about a movie? Shit. It'd tear the fandom apart.

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author avatar Nepetafan_spellchecker
20th Feb 2013 (#)

I have read this whole article over at least three times, and I still do not see any sign of the mythological "point" believed by the ancient Domum-Adhæsit culture to exist in this writing.
Als9, tag y9ur triggers.

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author avatar Beans
20th Mar 2013 (#)

This article is... well. Uh. Kind of awful.
First of all: nobody sane would ever, ever consider a Homestuck movie. It's too damn complicated and full of time shenanigans and things tying together from just before you stop remembering them to work in any set of media than the one it is designed to work in. It's like trying to make a movie out of House of Leaves (note that my comparison here is solely on the basis of complexity lending itself to unsuitability for adaption to screenplay).
The article itself is really kind of sad. Basically it's some guy not understanding an internet thing and deciding that because he finds it confusing and not very enjoyable (which is okay! Some people just aren't going to like Homestuck, and all that means is that they don't like Homestuck, not that they're somehow unintelligent) that it is therefore terrible (a hasty and rather rash assumption). He then goes on to make a badly-written article that people find confusing because of its poor structure and meandering writing style, which may have been intentional or not. Either way, the article is taken down and the writer puts it up again, but with additions to bolster his ego. "Hah, you didn't get it! I bet you feel dumb! You're really dumb! I'm so smart!" crows the man who probably felt uncomfortable when he didn't understand something popular. It's hypocritical and projects the author's negative feelings upon Homestuck fans for the sake of his own ego.

Comparing Homestuck to James Joyce and so forth: also dumb. "Homestuck doesn't live up to the standards of James Joyce's work! It's so lame and dumb!" Allow me to show you what this is analogous to saying: "This bicycle is so dumb! You can't hammer in nails with it very well! What a shitty bicycle!" Homestuck is not intended to be the same thing as James Joyce's work. Homestuck is intended to be Homestuck, whether or not people feel there are things about it that are similar to other things.

Lastly, some of my fellow commenters (commentors? commentators?) feel this may all just be a big joke on the fandom. That... honestly really doesn't change much. It's a joke that failed to amuse any but the joke-teller, whose guffaws trail off into his audience's awkward silence and uninterested stares. Unsettled, he feels the need to tell the whole joke all over again, then mock his audience for how stupid they are for not getting the joke and laugh at them when ultimately his joke has failed in its capacity as a joke: it brought little to no amusement to its audience.

So I can find no way in which this article is anything better than a depressing tribute to a man's unnecessary insecurity and ego.

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author avatar Marry me timothy
11th Apr 2013 (#)

lay off you guys can't you see timothy is the voice of our generation

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author avatar Rebecca
9th Oct 2013 (#)

All of the criticism I would have said has been previously stated by the other fans, as far as I can tell, so I just thought I would let you know.

As someone who comes from a musical theatre background, it really pains me to see misworded references to song lyrics. The line is "I get my KICKS above the waistline, sunshine", not "my laughs". "I get my laughs above the waistline" doesn't even make an iota of sense, unless that's a poor attempt to knock some of the sexual jokes in Homestuck - which are few and far between, mind you - when you could have kept the original lyrics and still insinuated the same meaning.

Your supposed "analysis" reminded me more of the aimless rambling one might find in Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf" than of an actual intellectual and continuous article, your "argument" had virtually no appeal to ethos, logos, OR pathos (which are the essence of the art of manipulation and persuasion), your word choice is unnecessarily whimsical and thus circumnavigates any clear "point" you might be attempting to get across, and - to top it all off - when people point out your flaws for you to correct them, you turn around and insult the readers. (That really is very mature, you know. So very mature. Mature like a cat who is summarily ignored by its owner so it decides to puke in his shoes.)

But I must concede, while there are so very many things wrong with your vindictive and somewhat self-incriminating "article", the Chess reference is appreciated. Even if you botched it horribly, and it's aurrounded by other botched references. All of the botched references. All of them.

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author avatar Silound
19th Oct 2013 (#)

This is completely inane. Even edited, the article is steeped in condescension and full of bullshit.

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author avatar Jimbo
18th Jan 2014 (#)

I know this author sort of. He fancies himself an authority on the English language, syntax, etc., yet I see many here commenting Sexton can't write his way out of a wet paper bag. Sexton is a bit stuck on himself. His photo avatars, of which he has many, all seem to have the same quality to them....he's mysterious, too cool to fool and all the rest. Turns out, based on commentators here, Sexton ain't as coll as he thinks he is.

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