House of 1000 Corpses
House of 1000 Corpses isn't just a horror movie, it's a horrific fairytale, a Satan's fairytale for the naive and weak. The biggest lesson in this movie is to never ask for something you can't walk away from. Some adventures are better left alone.
Settin' You Up
You're driving deep into the country, down south, and where civilization is a stranger. Rundown rest stops are miles from each other -- no one other than the owners or people who work at these said places and yourself, alongside with the people who came on the trip with you, will know you were ever there -- never mind see you leaving. You stop for gas and for the life of you you have no idea the sights you will see. You are writing an article on the crazy things little rest stops have -- whether or not it be a souvenir, artwork, or a... Haunted house ride that features life sized dolls? That look like famous serial killers??
There was one serial killer that caught your interest more than the others, this serial killer was said to be buried not far from this peculiar, yet, exciting-- "Awesome!" --rest stop. The owner of this rest stop gave you a map of where this serial killer was buried, and you convinced the others that that's what you guys were looking for all along.
You drive away from this rest stop in this dark, wet, and uneasy night. You drive down the vacant, windy, and dirty road until you see this hot damsel in distress, even though the two girls you and your partner in crime accompanied yourselves with said no, you decided that you couldn't just leave her in the middle of the mud-pit of a road. She was all alone and needed assistance. What harm is it in picking up a lone vixen that has found herself at the mercy of the creepy crawlers that be.
A loud bang rang out and you swerve to the side of the road. A flat tire. but how? And so suddenly. You all freak out because you don't have a spare and you know you are in the middle of nowhere. You were all freaking out except for the girl with the long legs and cowgirl boots. her house was just up the road and her brother has a tow truck.
All four of you wind up sitting in this creepy beat down house; with creepy people who have bad teeth and awkward manners about them. The bad news is you have to sit in this creepy house for two hours while waiting for your car. The good news is you get to eat dinner with them and partake in creepy traditions, table manners, and conversations. when dinner is over you get the privilege of seeing a creepy show put on by the family. This show turns out for the worst when that hot cowgirl hitchhiker, now singing like Betty Boop, sits on your friends lap and his traveling girlfriend gets jealous and starts a fight with the singing tramp.
Before this fight escalated and this creepy Betty stabbed your friends girlfriend, a loud beep was heard from outside and a voice hollers, "Cars ready!" You were all happy to jump in that bucket of nuts and bolts and take off... You drive to a gate, and had to get out of your car to go open it; but, before you get there you feel a hard force hit you on top of the head....
See The Movie
House of 1000 Corpses brought to you by Rob Zombie, is a horrifying depiction of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. A naive bunch of young adults looking for adventure found way more than they bargained for. Satan has his helpers, his disciples, and those that live according to his word. Filled with chaos, mayhem, and gore -- this tale of horror will scare you to the edge of your seat. If you like movies with blood and blood curdling screams, this is the movie for you.
This movie is not for the man or woman with a weak stomach.
I give this movie -- 3 stars!
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