Book Review: The right to be yourself

spirited By spirited, 27th Aug 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Reviews>Books>Mind, Body & Spirit

This book, written by a communications expert, mainly addressed at women, allows the reader to reach a level of self-confidence that brings a natural assertive stance to their lives.

This new found assertiveness can then be used in nearly every circumstance where before-hand perhaps fear would have led to them making a hostile reactive response instead, or perhaps to them withdrawing into themselves altogether.

How to be assertive and make changes in your life

The above section title is the sub-title of this book.

The author Tobe Aleksander talks about assertiveness on a number of different fronts.

She teaches you to think assertively, to talk assertively, and even how to develop the look of being an assertive person in the way that you hold and position your body more confidently.

The author paints different scenes for the reader of everyday situations, and then gives them practical tips and common-sense advice as to how to best handle such a situation as this.

"It is still more likely that a woman's power would be seen as aggression, and a man's power would be seen as assertion."

This quote is by the American musician, and opera singer, Jessye Norman.

This is the problem that woman sometimes might face in their being assertive.

The author points out pointedly to the reader though, "that nobody is powerless."

Having more self-belief brought about by reading such self-help books as this one will help you to live your life more as you choose to live it, and not so much as you are being coerced into living it in another person's way, by somebody else.

Our personal rights must be lived from assertively

The author, early on in the book, talks about our basic human rights, such as our right to freedom of speech, or our right of being treated as an equal to others, by others.

She then takes this a step further though by outlining a new charter of personal assertion rights.

She calls these the "golden twelve."

This is because she lists twelve such rights in her book.

Some of these are fairly obvious to us of course, but we still might not live from them if they were not pointed out to us like this.

The right to hold an opinion different from others, or the right to express exactly how we feel at any given moment. The right to say "yes" or "no". The right to change your own mind. These are just a few of the ones she mentions in her book.

Throughout her book the author uses some invented characters who have different characters.

They are, "Aggressive Aggie", "Passive Petula", and "Manipulative Minnie".

She uses these characters to show how these extremes of personality types would react in her contrived examples.

How would they act when angry, for example.

Aggressive Annie might hit out both verbally, and also sometimes physically.

Passive Petula never expresses her anger at all. She just bottles it up. One day though if it does happen to explode past the bottle cap, she will be overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and remorse.

Manipulative Minnie is angry in a covert way. She is a back stabber.

It takes assertiveness to own, and then to be, who you really are

Being assertive relates to all parts of who we are. This includes to our spiritual self, as well.

Being assertive is about being the owner of your own soul, steering your own boat, driving your own car.

As soon as you let someone else drive you away from being who you really are you have stepped aside from being your real self then. You are allowing someone else to control, manipulate, or run your life for you.

Be yourself by loving yourself, nobody else can be you.

Assertiveness is not about defending anything however.

It is more about showing the other person that you too have ideas that can be listened to, because you too are soul, and you too are valuable in your own right.

The most loving thing to always do is to be your true self, soul. Soul is naturally loving.

Lack of assertiveness is perhaps also showing you that you don't value your own life very much. You need to gain the self-belief, and the self-confidence to be who you really were created by God to be.


Assertive, Assertiveness, Be Yourself, Book Review, Book Reviews, The Right To Be Yourself

Meet the author

author avatar spirited
I have been interested in the spiritual fields for over thirty five years now. My writing is mostly in this area.

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author avatar Helen Thomas
29th Aug 2014 (#)

I like this ~ Spirited. Thanks for the book review. Blessings.

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author avatar spirited
29th Aug 2014 (#)

thanks Helen,

I like to write about books I enjoyed reading

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