Marriage: Heaven or Hell?

gihigugma ko ikaw By gihigugma ko ikaw, 24th Apr 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Reviews>Books>Health, Family & Lifestyle

Marriage is a choice whether you like it to live like heaven or hell.

Keeping marriage requires working relationship to a harmonious relationship. Marriage is not a trash but an eternal binding of two hearts together.

Getting married is not just a piece of paper. Marriage is not a fairy tale which the love story could be described as ‘’they live happily ever after story.’’ Marriage is the beginning of the real world living with the lifetime partner without the presence of the biological parents. The tasks of married couples vary from working with intimate relationship, household chores, finances, planning for future and so many other things. Above all, what is essential is how the married couples hold on to their marriage through tough and thin in life. In real sense, the sweetness in love is not just happening for the first few years of marriage but an everyday nurture and cultivation stepping for the coming years.

Divorce is the ending point of marriage when life seems to be a roller coaster. It is comparison to a boat that is about to sink, but not saving the relationship is a sad story. Let this not happen to a commitment. This book is sharing 12 points to hold for happier relationship.

1. Acceptance. Accept individual differences that both of you are different person

2. Responsibility. Take control with the emotions that you are the creator of your own faults

3. Forgiveness. Admit the fault done. To forgive is to forget

4. Excuse. Refrain from excuses. Meet halfway instead

5. Learning. Learn from the mistake and try not to make the same mistake again

6. Tolerance. Nobody’s perfect in this world. Be patient to each other

7. Respect. Be nice and be harmless to your partner

8. Communication. Keep an open communication. Listen to each other’s story

9. Solve. If there’s a problem, there is a solution. Fix the flaws instead

10. Attentiveness. Be considerate and attentive to each other

11. Loyalty. Your partner is the person whom you are marrying. Be faithful.

12. Sharing. Hold hands tightly though at the worst point in life

Self-acceptance is the doorway to problem solving and a happier life. When an ego begins to attack during arguments, never ever let emotions rule the discussion. Take the chance to accept yourself. The idea is not to count how many mistakes made, who should win the argument, but an acceptance that you make a mistake and it will come again some time again. Mostly when married couples fight, the emotions are at the highest boiling pot. One discussion will lead to other discussions. At upset level, then decide to file a divorce or separation. Let this not happen. Do not end the day with a settled talk before bedtime.

Saying ‘’I am sorry’’ to some people might be a weakness. Sorry simply means acceptance of one’s fault and recognizing that you make a mistake. Saying that word is really hard to speak with partner after the argument. It might be that the partner is waiting to compromise before you. Talk and confide the feelings. Forgive each other. Do not let a long, unending discussion float in the water until it will lead to nothingness. Forgiveness is an acceptance of one’s fault. Cases close and move on.

‘’To err is human and to forgive is divine,’’ as an adage says. To marriage, this might be a polite excuse that humans commit mistakes, of course, we do. Sometimes, it is hard to accept that we too commit mistakes. That is an accepted fact, why not accept it? The moment that our own faults and weaknesses are identified, why not try to think to improve and change for the better? Change is constant but only people refuse change. Change doesn’t mean that you have to change of who you are just to be accepted, but somehow a change how you treat each other nicely. Be tolerant of each other’s differences. Respect your partner. Tell yourself that do not let emotions controls over you when there is a disagreement of both decisions.

Learning from each other is the best ingredient to marriage. Know yourself. Know him better. Identify what are his likes and dislikes. Adjust how you treat and pivot until you reach the point that you are totally adjusted to each other. Communicate. Talk and speak out what is on your head and what the heart feels. Openness is very important to a relationship.

Being aware of each action makes relationship better. Do not pick up a single word that would lead to fight. It kills the relationship and a continuous bad mood of the day. Handling conflicts with respect softens relationship. In a day when the partner feels irritated, don’t put gas into the fire. Let the bad emotions go away it without making more feel bad. It is a no no to marriage.

Love is the most special thing in this world. There is other special feeling than love. Cherish the love with your partner and nourish the relationship for the best. Say ‘’ I love you’’ is the sweetest word that a man ever head to his ears. Love, it makes the world goes round and round. Marriage is a choice neither you want it heaven or hell.

Author of the book: Malka, Cyril


Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Marriage Relationship Problems, Marriage Saved, Married, Marrital Advice

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author avatar gihigugma ko ikaw
I am a dog lover,vegetables and fruits lover,an outdoor person ,licensed teacher, had a previous seasonal writing job and an online clothes seller(preloved)

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
25th Apr 2013 (#)

Nice review and lots of commonsense. We should accept our partner with warts and all and should not try to change him/her. All are separate human beings with emotions ebbing and flowing, so it is a daily adjustment - siva

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author avatar gihigugma ko ikaw
25th Apr 2013 (#)

Hello,Siva. I agree with your above comment. Everday is a learning opportunity to keep marriage, for better or worse

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